


Coming Home

by SenorCasillas



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: But I kind of like keeping things somewhat vague so people don't know what's going on immediately, I guess because this shit gets pretty sad in between the lines, M/M, So then I can't give details, Trigger Warnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-29 22:59:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15739053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SenorCasillas/pseuds/SenorCasillas
Summary: It's been years since Daniel and Max have talked, neither had contacted the other ever since the accident.





	Coming Home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [extremesoft](https://archiveofourown.org/users/extremesoft/gifts).



> For someone who understands and agrees that everything being sunshine and rainbows just doesn't work out

He took a deep breath as he stopped in front of the store. He looked down at the piece of paper holding the information he needed, he was definitely at the right place, he had the right street, right house number, and if he was unsure if his info was correct then the name of the store definitely told him this was where he wanted to go.

Daniel was nervous, extremely nervous, he felt sick to his stomach, his mind was racing and it took every ounce of self-control to not run back to the airport and fly back to Australia. This had felt like a good idea at the start, when he had just left Abu Dhabi after his last race, but as he was standing there he couldn’t shake the feeling that this was a terrible plan, that it could only end up in failure. But, Daniel, being the happy-go-lucky person that he was, knew that he couldn’t back out at this point anymore, so he stepped closer to further investigate the store.

The sign on the front door said ‘gesloten’, and after a quick pull on the door handle Daniel concluded that it must’ve meant ‘closed’. Shit, he hadn’t thought of this scenario in his mind yet, and now he was a little lost as to what to do. He walked around a bit, peeking inside, hoping to maybe find someone, and then he spotted a side entrance, one that was slightly open with some noise coming out of it as well, and he sighed in relief.

He looked through the little gap of the sliding door to catch a glimpse of someone rummaging around, someone he knew very well. The person had barely changed, same hairstyle, same build, just somewhat less muscular and more slumped than Daniel remembered, but that was logical. With how much they had to train for F1 races, it didn’t come as a surprise that their figure would slim down as soon as that need for exercise was gone. Daniel tried to get a closer look at the person, but ended up making some noise in the progress.

“Sorry, we zijn gesloten, ik kan U niet helpen” the person said without looking away from what he was doing.

Daniel held his breath, hoping that maybe the person would think that he had left so that he could stare a little longer. He wanted to talk, it was the whole reason he came here, but now that he was so close he didn’t know what to do or say anymore, and he needed some time to compose himself and collect his thoughts.

“U kunt morgen middag terugkomen, dan zijn we open en helpen we U graag” the person said, trying to sound as friendly as possible while he was actually quite tired. “Maar nu moet ik U verzoeken om-“ he started, but stopped mid-sentence as he looked up and saw who it was. “Daniel?”.

Daniel put up one of his iconic smiles and added a slight wave to it as well. “Uh, hi Max, long time no see” he said, managing to sound somewhat casual. He waited for a response, but Max kept staring at him in disbelief. “So, this is what you do now huh? Have your own car shop.. I’m sure that calling it ‘Verstappen’ must have brought you a lot of customers right? Pretty smart thing to do” he rambled. He barely knew what he was saying himself, he just let his mouth run on to fill the silence.

“What are you doing here?” Max finally managed to get out of his mouth.

“I came here to see you of course” Daniel stated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, which it kind of was.

“But, why? I haven’t seen or spoken to you since.. since I was forced to stop..” Max grew more quiet towards the end of the sentence and looked down, clearly this was still a difficult subject for him to talk about.

“I know.. and I’m sorry it took me so long but I’m here to apologize for everything that happened”.

Max sighed. “You don’t have to apologize”.

“Yes I do!” Daniel said before Max could say more. “It’s my fault that you were forced to retire”.

“It was an accident, just, unfortunate, we knew what we were doing was risky and in the end I paid the price, but I was always fully aware that this could happen. I guess, what I’m trying to say is, I don’t blame you for what happened Daniel, so there’s no need to apologize for that” Max explained.

“But I still feel like I need to, if I just hadn’t been so stupid, if I just had been more careful.. but instead you were forced to stop mid-season to give up your dreams on racing forever.. and the worst is that I got away unscaled..” Daniel sighed, rubbing his face in an attempt to keep the tears from coming. He still felt so guilty after all these years, especially because he knew how much racing meant to Max.

Max joined in, sighed as well, looked away for a bit and then turned his gaze back to Daniel. “Fine, if you really want to apologize, then do it for the last conversation we had..”.

Daniel bit his lip as the memory came back to him. He had almost forgotten, had tried to push it away into the back of his mind so that he never would have to think about it again, but now it all came flooding back. “I’m.. sorry for acting like such a dickhead, I was only thinking about myself, and then never talking to you again..”.

“Yeah you were! Acting as if I’d just go around telling everyone your secrets, I would never do that to you! I thought you knew.. that really hurt Daniel.. and then you also had to leave for Renault, felt like an extra stab to the heart..” Max responded, and then sighed again. “Sorry, I’ve been needing to tell you that for years, and now that I finally said it to you, I’m all good now” Max added, giving Daniel a careful smile.

“That’s alright” Daniel smiled back. “And, I only left for Renault because I couldn’t stand being at Red Bull anymore, the garage was so somber and empty without you, I needed to get away for my own sanity” Daniel clarified, to which Max nodded in understanding.

Then there was silence, both of them not really knowing what to say, and it gave Daniel the chance to get a closer look at Max. He definitely looked worse from up close, eyes looking tired, the bright sparkle that Daniel remembered so well completely gone, the bags under his eyes telling Daniel that he still struggled to adjust to this life, wrinkles from frowning and sad faces, the corners of his mouth that were almost stuck in a downwards position and then-. Daniel gasped as he saw the marks on Max’s neck, a line underneath his jaw, hard to spot because Max’s uniform was covering most of it, but Daniel knew what it was and how he got it.

Max looked away, he knew Daniel knew, hell almost everyone he met knew because the media just had to make a big deal out of it. He still tried to hide the scars as much as possible, didn’t want it to be the one thing he was known and remembered for, the young driver who couldn’t handle early retirement and then failed at trying to stop the pain too, it just made him feel like a huge failure.

“I’m so sorry Max..” Daniel whispered as he put his hand on Max’s neck

Max flinched for a bit but when Daniel wanted to pull his hand away he stopped him. “It’s okay, I fucked up there..”.

Daniel pulled Max closer and then hugged him tight. He felt so guilty, if only he had been there for Max, tried to help and support him through the difficult times, then maybe things would have gone better for Max. But Daniel was too scared, too worried for his own skin to do anything, expected others to do the job for him, it was stupid, he was stupid, and he would to anything to make up for it.

“Max, the real reason I came here..” Daniel started but then trailed off. He still wasn’t sure if this was a good idea, to just ask Max out of the blue, but he was here now, he might as well just tell Max. “Now that I’ve retired and so the whole.. risk of being found out, like.. what happened to you.. is mostly gone” he stopped for a moment to take a deep breath. “ I want to give us another chance Max. In all these years I haven’t stopped thinking about you, I’ve tried to move on but I just can’t, I don’t want anyone else but you” he admitted.

Max took a step back and stared at Daniel again. “W-what?”. He frantically looked around, bit his lip, trying to process what Daniel just told him. “Y-you can’t just come here and tell me all that. After all that happened” he then said.

Daniel looked down and nodded. “I knew this was a bad idea, I’m sorry Max, I’ll leave you alone again if that’s what you want..”.

“N-no!” Max called, immediately grabbing Daniel’s hand to prevent him from leaving. “I just mean, I need a bit of time okay? I’m not even sure if we’ll still work out, it’s all just so sudden, you don’t even know if I’m single or not, god Daniel, I just need some time, will you give me that?” he asked.

Daniel gave Max a small smile and nodded. “Anything for you, and if you just want to be friends that’s fine too, I just want to be there for you now Max” he answered, squeezing Max’s hand.

Max nodded and smiled back. “Thank you”.

~

It took a few moments for Daniel to register who could be knocking at his door, no one knew where he was and so he wasn’t expecting any visitors, and then he remembered that he told Max. He got up on his feet as fast as he could and almost fell as he ran for the door. He opened it, leaning against the wall, trying to look as casual as possible. “Hey”.

Max chuckled lightly at the sight of a slightly messy Daniel. “Hey Dan”.

“Come in” Daniel said, stepping aside and then closing the door behind Max. “Do you want anything to drink?” he asked.

Max shook his head. “I uh, I’ll just get straight to the point, I want to give us another chance too”.

Daniel’s smile grew unbelievably big and he was ready to hug Max, but Max signed him to stay put and let him finish.

“Truth is, since the.. incident and everything, every day I hoped that you would randomly show up like you did a few days ago, and after a while I kind of lost hope of course but, when you did show up, my heart was pounding in my chest like it used to when I was around you, and when you left I couldn’t stop thinking about all the good and happy times we had together and, it made me realize that I still missed you so much even after all those years and, I guess I’ll just always come back to you Daniel, no matter what happens” Max confessed.

“So you are single?” Daniel immediately asked.

Max laughed. “Yes, don’t worry, so far no one compares to you yet”.

Daniel finally walked up to Max and gave him the big happy bear hug he had been dying to give Max since the moment he saw him again a few days ago. Max chuckled again, hugging back until the hug became too much and he had to hit Daniel’s shoulders to get him to let go again. Daniel apologized with a big smile on his face and Max just shook his head while smiling.

“But, I want you to keep in mind that there’s no guarantee that it will work out this time, we’ve both changed and gotten older and I don’t know how much the issues in the past are going to get in the way, and there’s nothing forcing us to be together for an entire weekend, things are going to be different, a lot different” Max stated.

“Yeah, and I have all the free time in the world to be with you as much as I want, we’re both wiser now that we’re older, and there is no championship title getting in the way anymore, we’ve survived a lot back then, so I think we’ll be able to now as well” Daniel countered.

“I’m serious”.

“I know, and I’m just being my usual, ‘everything will work out’ self” Daniel grinned.

Max rolled his eyes but still smiled. “Alright, but at least now I can say that I warned you”.

Daniel pulled Max close again and gave him a kiss on his forehead. “I love you, even when you’re being your annoying realistic self”.

Max sighed and shook his head. “I love you too”.

**Author's Note:**

> Hah sorry for more vagueness idk why I like being vague so much, if anything is still unclear then feel free to ask about it.  
> So yeah something more dark and realistic than usual, I wanted to do something like this but felt like writing something about the moment itself would make things too depressing, at least like this I can add a happy ending to it (while still trying to be realistic of course I gotta stick with that mood)  
> Since it seems like the vagueness was too vague, the 'accident' is people finding out Max isn't straight, it's not an actual racing accident


End file.
